If you don't already know, I am traveling alone. I mean, I
hope to have a travel buddy but my husband does not need to travel for the
adoption and we are choosing for him to remain home with the children. Because
of what is going on he mentioned how he should probably go with me but we
quickly realized that this would not be a good idea because IF something were
to happen then what would happen to our kids at home? He needs to stay here.
No doubt there will be plenty of people who think that I am
nuts to go or am being irresponsible mom...I have already heard a bit of this
from one concerned person, but honestly I am trusting God in when and if I
should go.
The other thing is...the money. I know, I know, you are
tired of me posting about it but this is a huge fact we can't just brush aside.
Our dossier was submitted 3 weeks ago tomorrow. We were told by our facilitator
that 4 weeks is the average time for registration. Others told us many have
been registered in 3 weeks. If either of these timelines were still correct we
could hear something any day now. The next wait would be 3-4 weeks to hear of a
travel date for another 4 weeks out. (that would mean travel the end of May
possibly). However, last night a new friend in the adoption community shared a
new possible timeline and a change in the process (not a legal change. just an
apparent change). She shared that THREE families had just learned they were
registered AND received their travel date all in the same day! It took a few
weeks longer before they found out they were registered but again, they learned
of their travel date at the same time AND they will be traveling in just a few
weeks! By this friend's calculations (based on the timelines of these 3
families), that would mean we should hear of our registration and appointment
date in about 2.5 wks for an APRIL travel date! Hello! That's next month!
AND....I HAVE NO MONEY!
There is this huge part of me that wants to remind myself
that God has come through every time, and if I sit down and fantasize how the
money will come, I can pretty well be sure that those are the ways the money
will NOT come. There is no way to figure it out! $22,000 in 6 weeks? Yes, I'm
nervous.
I need to remind myself that looking at our experiences in
the past is helpful but not where I need to be looking...I need to be looking
at God. He will ALWAYS be bigger than our experiences. Maybe that's where the
fear is creeping in.
I don't know. I just know that if our boys are over there
and God is telling me to bring them home, then I need to do it. I just want to
swoop in and scoop them up...whoever they are.
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