Do We Only Support Adoption With Pictures?

This question is not only for my readers but for me as well. I’ve been pondering, for a while now, how to best approach our church congregation about supporting adoptive families and orphans. It can get a little complicated since I am always adopting and I don’t want anything to even give the slightest appearance of selfish motivation.

Are people more likely to support a family in their call to adopt? Or are they more likely to support an orphan in need of adoption, specifically one with a picture that can be shared?

I, personally, think the answer is the second but I’m not 100% sure why we go this route and fail to consider the other as equally as important. After all, helping a family to adopt could potentially give multiple orphans a chance for a forever family.

So I am forced to think through it for myself and assume that others may think similarly.

Okay, sometimes I wonder if a family will follow through and if I instead give to a particular child then I feel as though I am directly helping that child. Maybe I can sometimes judge families thinking whether or not they should adopt when I already know that all orphans deserve to have a forever family so all judgment is set aside. Maybe when we consider giving to a family, it seems like we are contributing to the families desire for a child but when we give towards a specific child then it is helping an orphan get a family? That’s just silly, because it takes a family's initiative to give an orphan a family. Without a family willing to “go” the orphan remains an orphan regardless of how much money has been raised in their grant for the adoption process.

But what about giving to an adoption for a family that has already identified a specific child and even posts pictures of that child, versus a family who is “traveling blind” (has not identified the specific child or children they will be adopting)? I think without even realizing it I am not sure if I have ever contributed to an adoption for a family that has not already identified a particular child they are trying to adopt. What is up with that? I started pondering this as I have immediately seen a difference in financial support for this adoption versus those we have previously pursued…and realized one big difference…we do not have a name, picture, or exact diagnosis or situation to share about. We are approved, committed, called, and stepping out but does the lack of identification of WHO we will adopt really affect the amount of financial support people are willing to give? Based on my own history of contributions, or lack thereof,  I am going to assume so.

You know, that breaks my heart.

The purpose of this post is not to lay a guilt trip but to hopefully help me to process through some of these thoughts and will maybe help others to do the same for themselves. Of course we would be blessed if people then chose to help 1-2 more orphans find a forever family, but this isn’t just about us; its about the countless number of families stepping out in faith and even more orphans than families being found by their forever family. If families do not “go,” children remain orphans.

The country of which we are adopting from this time doesn’t even legally allow for pre-identifying a child for adoption. Now don’t get carried away with that statement. You can legally learn about a child in the system through a variety of ways. You can even legally request permission to receive the referral for that child through the adoption process, but unlike many other countries, no one can hold a child’s file for your adoption. So while many times it can work out that the family is able to adopt the child they chose to pursue, as we did with 3 of our children that we adopted from this same country, there are no guarantees. The difference with “traveling blind” is, we are open to looking at files of other children not yet even being advocated for and will choose one (or two, if adopting 2 children that are not currently related) to meet for adoption.

If you think about it, there are sooooo many more kids that have no advocates but are equally in need of a family, some in even worse situations. Just because I don’t have a name or picture of these children do not make them any less worthy of being adopted.

I wish I had children identified that we were pursuing. A lot of times it just feels easier, like there are a few less unknowns. And I sure wish I could share pictures and information with people, and perhaps people would look into the eyes and face of the children’s pictures I share and feel moved and motivated to help bring them home. Unfortunately, there is a lot of corruption and strings attached when it comes to that adopting from this country. So while I have identified special needs children I would gladly pursue for adoption, I do not care to get tangled in any webs or politics…so we wait.

Curious, how do others feel about contributing to the adoptions of families traveling for unknown children? Heads up, I won’t post anything vicious or negative…that bit of information is for any trolls or people that are out to discourage (those comments are screened and not even read)