Those in the midst of an adoption know that once you take
those steps of faith to adopt, you have essentially stepped onto the frontlines
of battle zone. Orphans aren’t just children the enemy wants to keep from
knowing Jesus, he has already, in a sense, taken them as prisoners of war; he
has already attacked and destroyed their lives at the most sensitive and
critical place, the very heartbeat of their lives that makes one feel human, loved,
and protected…the family. When we follow a call to adopt we have to put on our
armor and have the mindset, “I’m going in,” and get ready to be a target of the
enemy. The last thing the enemy wants to see is REDEMPTION. The last thing the
enemy wants these children to find is HOPE. The last place the enemy wants
these children to go is into CHRIST LOVING FAMILIES…because with these things
JESUS IS GLORIFIED.
It was interesting, and even a bit concerning with our last
adoption because it almost seemed too easy. The fact that we really didn’t come
up against much opposition during that time seemed odd. I knew we were doing
what God was calling us to do (to adopt lil A) but at the same time I
questioned, at moments, why was the enemy not so concerned this time around. However,
thinking back on it now and remembering the torment I was feeling over the
little boy I believe we are supposed to adopt and the division that it was
causing between my husband and I, as we were not believing the same thing at
that time, I’m now thinking that was probably enough. Again, where is the best
way to attack the world to bring it down? The family! I am so thankful to be
past that now.
The past few days have been something else! When I say it
felt like a bombshell was dropped on our family, I truly cannot find any other
words that better describe the shocking news that was revealed to us on Friday.
The situation was not at all related to this adoption but is the result of
trauma caused by the enemy’s pain and destruction in the life of one of my
children before we became a family. That trauma of becoming the enemy’s POW and
how it happened does not just go away with adoption. That kind of trauma can
wreak havoc in a child’s life FOREVER. The torment a child can struggle with,
like a disease that refuses to heal, can get worse before getting better AND
THAT’S WITH REDEMPTION AND A FOREVER FAMILY
TO LOVE THEM! My mind can’t even begin to comprehend the torment and trauma of
a child left behind never to be adopted by a forever family or to experience
the love of an earthly father (which was designed to teach us about our
Heavenly Father’s love).
So the initial explosion of Friday rocked my world so hard
that the residual affects on me emotionally and physically carried over big
time on Saturday, only beginning to feel like I was able to stand back up on
Sunday, and feeling mostly recovered
this morning. That doesn’t mean everything is fixed and all pretty again; it
just means I am not feeling like I have to fight my own physical stress and
emotional exhaustion while trying to love my child to a spiritual and emotional
place of recovery. I have no doubt that the larger part of the stress was deep
in my mind remembering the very difficult and stressful months we trudged
through not very long ago and just feeling like, “Oh God, please…I can’t do
this again.” But I can. We can. We have all grown so incredibly much since
then, and our hearts have been so transformed since then. Jesus is already
being glorified.
I am also reminded that in previous adoptions, when the
enemy attacks it’s almost always followed by a huge blessing in our adoption. I
can’t help but wonder if that’s because the enemy can be places to see things I
can’t, like God preparing the hearts and situations that will not only bless us
but more importantly glorify Him before MANY. For this reason I am excited. I
cannot wait to see what God will do.
I covet your prayers. We would be so blessed to be lifted up
through this time of bonding and attempts to lead our hurt child to healing and
for the adoption of our son(s); I am still believing with all of my heart that
this one particular child God has chosen for our family but only God knows who our
child is and I pray that He will guide our steps, open doors, and close others,
as HE WILLS.
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