Dossier Submitted!!

At last! Our dossier was successfully submitted!

Again we were told the average travel date is 3 months from submission with 3-4 weeks notice. That would put me there just about at the time of their emergency presidential elections. Kind of scary. I don't want to be in the capitol city for a revolution (prayerfully that won't even happen though). And I don't want to get stuck in country nor do I want to meet and fall in love with a child and then have everything shutdown and not be able to adopt. I am trusting God and all these things have always been a possibility with every adoption we've been through in this country. But I am really wanting to be done with my appointment in the capitol city before elections. I will, however, pray for God's perfect timing, because only He knows what is in store for all of us.

In the meantime, I will be praying favor over our dossier registration. A new friend in the adoption community recently had to resubmit her dossier with additional documents after having been submitted weeks earlier. It took 3 weeks before she found out that her dossier was rejected rather than registered.  Prayerfully things will move quickly and smoothly for her from here on out and ours will be accepted on out first attempt.

So...who wants to travel with me? I'd offer to cover your expenses but at this point I can't even say I will be able to cover my own. Oy!

It's a great day!

An Aching Heart

It's so hard to put into words what I am thinking and feeling.

All that has been happening in the homeland of my children and (prayerfully) future children has been nothing less than heart wrenching. Last week things took a sharp turn for the worse as war appeared to have broken out against the people of this country who dared to speak up for their rights. It was ugly and incredibly sad. As the reports continue to reveal more I find myself in disbelief on how barbaric the police actions were. I won't allow myself to minimize what PTSD really is but I can say that even from a very far distance from this government collapse and mass murdering of last week, today's news of more murders and turmoil have quickly effected me...I seriously feel like I could just vomit.

 

I have been praying and pleading to God to intervene on behalf of the people of this country. I have been following the news closely and have just cried over all of this injustice. I have also celebrated over the victories and praised God for His clear intervening. I have been hopeful and watching, as I continue to pray. I do not make light of what has happened and what is still happening but as the dust began to settle a bit there were these other thoughts and feelings that I have wrestled with; they are about our son(s).

The fact that things are so grievous and uncertain for a great many of people...people who we call friends, people in the homeland of 5 of our children, people we feel a connection to...does not take away from this aching and yearning that has led us to step out in faith to adopt. However, I have felt guilty about having these feelings...although, maybe as I type that is changing.

I have felt guilty because my desires to adopt (or otherwise) is not the center of the universe and certainly not even on the scale of importance when it comes the lives (living, breathing, freedoms, and basic human rights) of the people in the country we feel led to adopt from. Although, as I type this it occurs to me that while that is absolutely true what is equally important is the lives of the children who sit in orphanages, including those that God may have called to be our sons. What happens in that country will determine the fate of all those orphan children. The country that wants to invade and take over is known for their neglect and abuse of their orphan children and for using these children's as pawns in a political game. If my children are waiting for us there then I should absolutely care and ache to bring them home; after all, we believe that it is by God's leading that we even began this adoption journey again.

I asked my husband the other day what we will do if things shutdown and we cannot adopt from this country. I believe his answer was, "Nothing." I didn't like it and chose not to further discuss it because it doesn't matter right now. That's not a crossroad we are at, but the truth is, this is the direction I strongly feel called to. I don't feel called to another country. I almost wish I did. I almost wish I just felt called to adopt boys from wherever but currently that is not the situation. I can't predict the future, that could change and maybe this is just where God wants us right now; I really don't know. What I do know is this is where God has called us and we need keep our eyes on Him. He has chosen our children before we were born. He has chosen this family to be brought together through adoption before we were born. We cannot just pick and choose, we need to trust.

So last week Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were the worst days of this 3+ month long revolution thus far, yet somehow in the midst of bloody attacks and chaos, DHL delivered our documents on time to our translator who lives in that very city! I still cannot comprehend how that happened. Seriously, there is no way that would have happened in America.

Before Tuesday of last week we were told that our dossier should be submitted today. Of course everything stopped last week when the government was collapsing. Amazingly, the government is being rebuilt and most were back to work on Monday, including the government adoption center. Yesterday we were told that it is expected that our dossier will still be submitted today. No further delays after all of that? That would be incredible! So we wait for the news one way or the other.

I am sharing all of this to not only bring you up to speed on our adoption (which is all about one step at a time and just trusting God for the outcome) but to also let you know that if I speak (or post) about my aching heart for my boy(s) it does not lessen my concern for what is happening in their country, but maybe you know that. Maybe I am just being hard on myself. It really doesn't have to be an either or situation...I can care deeply about both no matter how intertwined the situations may be.

Prayerfully today we will be one big step closeer!

 

 

The Little Engine That Could...

I feel like the Little Engine That Could! Seriously! Trying to get the paperwork right and in the hands of my facilitator has been nothing short of a challenge. I am just not on my A game this time around as I have never had these troubles in the past. Thankfully, everything should be good to go now!

Earlier this week we got our final revised documents back from the Secretary of State office with apostilles. Knowing that a winter storm was coming we rushed out to try and have them mailed before we really got hit...but everything was closed! No DHL! :( So instead of having them in the mail on Tuesday we had to wait until Friday. The good news is they are on their way and are scheduled to be delivered on Monday! Everything has been scanned, reviewed, and is being translated in the meantime.

Here is our predicted timeline (estimates of course):


Submission the following Thursday (10 days after it is received)
1 month until department acceptance
1 month until travel invitation
1 month until travel


If this was an exact science (which it is NOT) that would put me traveling the first week in June. In general, I tend to assume that the few weeks prior to that as well as the next few weeks following that are likely fair game for travel.

I am going to update our funds tracker in the sidebar but it's not very encouraging. We have had some unexpected expenses (if you are adopting, you can count on this happening during that time) and had to make some adjustments to the spreadsheet of predicted costs for the 2nd child (I'm really hoping for brothers). I keep reminding myself that in the past God has provided AS WE NEEDED IT, particularly our last adoption. I need to stop guessing how it will possibly work out because it has NEVER worked out as I pictured in my mind.

So we have what we need for today and I'm trusting God for the rest.

What Is Going On?

Well, as I said in my last post I mailed those documents but guess what...the homestudy needs more fixed! Can you believe that because BOTH my husband and I are recommended and approved to adopt it could be a problem? Yeah, it needs to just say me on the last piece since I am adopting as a "married single." Long story to explain why this was not caught earlier but I blame no one, instead am grateful that things are being checked and rechecked. 

So I found this out 2 days before surgery but then another delay! Apparently the adoption section of the government is becoming very particular about listing very specifically any special needs willing to be accepted and are approved for. While this is pretty recent so cannot yet say how consistent of an issue this will be it sure is a good time to make sure we cover all the bases. I got this long list of ICD-10 codes and their descriptions (in a foreign language!) of diagnosis that would make a child under the age of 5 eligible for adoption. Not only  was it 5 pages long in size 5.5 font in a foreign language but I got it post surgery!! I'm being drugged!

I had surgery on Wednesday and appear to be one of the miraculous not so horrific cases HOWEVER that requires me to stay on the prescribed meds and not miss a dose or I really hurt and have a hard time getting a hold on things again. When it hurts it feels like a bad case of Strep and a double ear infection. When I'm on the meds as prescribed the pain is quite minimal BUT I feel drugged...because I am. So if this post seems "off" that is why, my brain has been mush and that's been the hardest part of this recovery period. 

In any case, today I pushed through and withheld half a dose of meds to try and get through this list of diagnosis to look each one up (thankfully a friend had the list in English for me to use). So I have completed it and sent a draft of the recommendation to my social worker and facilitator to take a look at for updating. Hopefully we will get the green light so we can  move forward. It is hard feeling feeling like we are at a stand still when I so badly want to meet and bring home our boy(s). 

Lastly, the other family pursuing the little boy on my heart for over a year is there now and appears to be following through. I am praying for all of them through this and hope that it is best for all. While I would still adopt him in a heartbeat if given the opportunity it is a bit exciting to think that there is a higher likelihood of us adopting siblings if we do not pursue a "single" child. What will they be like? I am dying to know. 

Save Some, Spend Some

Since my last post I found out that I had 2 documents that needed corrections.

Because I am adopting as a married single (basically just means that I am married but doing the traveling, etc for the adoption without my husband needing to be there for it all) some documents require to just be signed by me, while others must be signed by both of us. One of the documents I had mistakenly only did in my name but needed to do for both of us. Then there was a mistake in our homestudy with a date, that needed to be corrected. Thankfully both were easy things to address.

Unfortunately though, getting apostilles was a challenge. We live 1.5 hrs from the Secretary of States office. On Wednesday I drove down to get apostilles and found that the notary for our homestudy apparently had a name change but did not register the name change...therefore the notarization was no good and could not be apostilled. I drove back towards home and our social worker quickly put together 2 more homestudies and had them notarized while she was at the Clerk of Courts. Certainly the notary at the Clerk of Courts would get it right. The next morning I took everything back down to the Secretary of States office but this time had to drive our monster van (which I try to avoid doing for further trips with no kids because it can be a gas hog) because very cold weather causes our car to be moody and I didn't want to risk it breaking down on me. Well, it turned out the notary left off her middle initial on her signature, which is not how her name is registered, nor is it how it is presented on her seal. Again, no apostille. I almost cried but no tears actually fell...I reminded myself that these are just delays and God has a plan. I'm not sure how one can determine when it's God or the enemy causing delays but I really just believe that God was causing the delays for a purpose.

I went back to the Clerk of Courts office to the notary and requested that she squeeze in her middle initial. I explained why and was not at all upset with her. She, however, was very much copping an attitude...I assume she felt like she needed to be on the defensive, you know since she has been made aware now that all of the documents that she has been notarizing have been "illegal" (according the verbiage used by the woman at the Secretary of States office). In any case, she did it and I overnighted everything back to the Secretary of States office with a prepaid return envelope all via Express Mail (overnight). Total Cost for mailing: approx. $30

Thankfully our Authentications Office not only charges a lot less than many states but also has an immediate turn around. Mailed it to them on Thursday. They got it on Friday, apostilled it all, sent it back. Got it back today (Saturday).

I had a friend traveling overseas this week and was going to hand carry my documents for me but we missed the boat due to all the delays with the apostilles. Today I mailed those FOUR documents (duplicates of both) via DHL and it cost us $132!!

So first of all, when I thought we saved approx $120 on that much bigger pile of documents (32, many with multiple pages), we probably actually saved $150 or more. But now after having spent extra money on gas, overnight mail, and DHL, we probably just spent about $210!! Still thankful we didn't have to spend that $150 earlier though (or even that $69) because documents still had to be fixed and it could have easily cost us over $300 in the past week or so on this stuff!

Meanwhile, our well pump and pressure tank are taking a nose dive. Thank God for our home warranty, which will cover the costs and labor for the well pump but the pressure tank and installation is going to cost us nearly $600!

On top of that, I am having a tonsillectomy and having my deviated septum fixed next week (we were able to move up my surgery date since Peanut's surgery is on hold for a while). Our insurance changed back in the fall so what would have cost us $30 or so will cost us over $600. AND...went for my dental cleaning and found that I lost a filling and cracked another. There goes another $110+.

Well, our adoption savings is stuck where it is right now. I really am not sure what to do and really can't do anything right now due to my upcoming surgery (which BTW I am told will be a NIGHTMARE recovery for SEVERAL WEEKS!) Again, I have to remind myself that if God is truly calling us to adopt, He will provide. He knows our bank account, our income, our expenses, and all the costs associated with adoption. With complete respect I say to Him, "Okay God, you're going to have to do this because you know I can't."

He will.

Getting Closer!

I don't have a whole lot to report except some wonderful news that our dossier made it safely to our facilitator (and friend) last Thursday! Since I have been sending over scans of the documents for translation I expect it shouldn't be too long before it will be ready to be submitted. It's very exciting!

Also, for those that are not connected with me on Facebook, I have to share how God has provided a portion of our funds in an unexpected way. Well, I had estimated the cost to mail our dossier overseas would be roughly $120, but then a friend was able to help me get it there with the chaperones of the host program traveling back. So instead of the $120 to mail it overseas, we spent $69 to Fed Ex it overnight to my friend BUT THEN Fed Ex delivered it 11 minutes after the guarenteed delivery time I paid for! Had I shipped it using an online label I would have had my FULL refund but I used a third party shipping service center. In order togget the refund they need to file a claim and get back to me. However, according to Fed Ex and their policy, I am due a FULL REFUND. So that's $120 of adoption cost I did not have to spend...and I look at it like we just received a $120 donation. :) Isn't God awesome! It's little things like this that He does over and over, in a variety of ways that help cover many costs with each adoption. I love it!

With the adoption center just reopening after the holidays it is not clear how long it will be before we travel. My best guess would be early May but I'm starting to think that April is a possibility...which is a little scary. It's scary because I hadn't mentally prepared myself to travel that soon and scary because we don't have the funds and they are nowhere in sight. One thing I always have to remind myslef with each adoption, "God is the one calling us. He has already chosen these children. He knows we cannot go if He does not provide."

On a completely sepetste note, we have postponed Peanut's surgery until September. We are trying a different approach to her physical therapy and have put her back on the colloidal minerals, which we had great results with previously. I have peace about this decision and look forward to seeing how God will work in her and through these next few months.

I will be sure to post once our dossier is submitted.

Do We Only Support Adoption With Pictures?

This question is not only for my readers but for me as well. I’ve been pondering, for a while now, how to best approach our church congregation about supporting adoptive families and orphans. It can get a little complicated since I am always adopting and I don’t want anything to even give the slightest appearance of selfish motivation.

Are people more likely to support a family in their call to adopt? Or are they more likely to support an orphan in need of adoption, specifically one with a picture that can be shared?

I, personally, think the answer is the second but I’m not 100% sure why we go this route and fail to consider the other as equally as important. After all, helping a family to adopt could potentially give multiple orphans a chance for a forever family.

So I am forced to think through it for myself and assume that others may think similarly.

Okay, sometimes I wonder if a family will follow through and if I instead give to a particular child then I feel as though I am directly helping that child. Maybe I can sometimes judge families thinking whether or not they should adopt when I already know that all orphans deserve to have a forever family so all judgment is set aside. Maybe when we consider giving to a family, it seems like we are contributing to the families desire for a child but when we give towards a specific child then it is helping an orphan get a family? That’s just silly, because it takes a family's initiative to give an orphan a family. Without a family willing to “go” the orphan remains an orphan regardless of how much money has been raised in their grant for the adoption process.

But what about giving to an adoption for a family that has already identified a specific child and even posts pictures of that child, versus a family who is “traveling blind” (has not identified the specific child or children they will be adopting)? I think without even realizing it I am not sure if I have ever contributed to an adoption for a family that has not already identified a particular child they are trying to adopt. What is up with that? I started pondering this as I have immediately seen a difference in financial support for this adoption versus those we have previously pursued…and realized one big difference…we do not have a name, picture, or exact diagnosis or situation to share about. We are approved, committed, called, and stepping out but does the lack of identification of WHO we will adopt really affect the amount of financial support people are willing to give? Based on my own history of contributions, or lack thereof,  I am going to assume so.

You know, that breaks my heart.

The purpose of this post is not to lay a guilt trip but to hopefully help me to process through some of these thoughts and will maybe help others to do the same for themselves. Of course we would be blessed if people then chose to help 1-2 more orphans find a forever family, but this isn’t just about us; its about the countless number of families stepping out in faith and even more orphans than families being found by their forever family. If families do not “go,” children remain orphans.

The country of which we are adopting from this time doesn’t even legally allow for pre-identifying a child for adoption. Now don’t get carried away with that statement. You can legally learn about a child in the system through a variety of ways. You can even legally request permission to receive the referral for that child through the adoption process, but unlike many other countries, no one can hold a child’s file for your adoption. So while many times it can work out that the family is able to adopt the child they chose to pursue, as we did with 3 of our children that we adopted from this same country, there are no guarantees. The difference with “traveling blind” is, we are open to looking at files of other children not yet even being advocated for and will choose one (or two, if adopting 2 children that are not currently related) to meet for adoption.

If you think about it, there are sooooo many more kids that have no advocates but are equally in need of a family, some in even worse situations. Just because I don’t have a name or picture of these children do not make them any less worthy of being adopted.

I wish I had children identified that we were pursuing. A lot of times it just feels easier, like there are a few less unknowns. And I sure wish I could share pictures and information with people, and perhaps people would look into the eyes and face of the children’s pictures I share and feel moved and motivated to help bring them home. Unfortunately, there is a lot of corruption and strings attached when it comes to that adopting from this country. So while I have identified special needs children I would gladly pursue for adoption, I do not care to get tangled in any webs or politics…so we wait.

Curious, how do others feel about contributing to the adoptions of families traveling for unknown children? Heads up, I won’t post anything vicious or negative…that bit of information is for any trolls or people that are out to discourage (those comments are screened and not even read)